BirdNoir: Vultures Come to Town

On this episode of BirdNoir, the Mayor of Bricksville calls the Private Eye with a bit of a problem. “Several dozen giant bird-punks loitering on top of City Hall!” The detective figures out the most likely reason why these birds have chosen the top of a building as their hangout, and reveals a side of the story that the mayor hadn’t considered before.

BirdNote^®

BirdNoir: Vultures Come to Town

Written by Conor Gearin and Mark Bramhill

This is BirdNoir. I’m Michael Stein, Private Eye.

[music]

The other day, the Mayor of Bricksville called me in a bit of a bind.

Mayor: [over the phone] Michael, this is an upstanding town. A town with pride in itself.

It’s a charming little place, Mayor.

Mayor: So imagine my surprise to find several dozen giant bird-punks loitering on top of City Hall! And they keep vandalizing the place with their vomit!

Giant punks, eh? Sounds like you’ve got vultures on your hands.

[Black Vulture call, ML 229153, 5:09-5:10]

I’ve got a soft spot for vultures. As a PI I’m a bit of a scavenger myself.

Mayor: Well, my constituents certainly aren’t wild about them!

I know, vultures get a bad rap. And it sounds like they’ve chosen your roof as a nice vantage point for their nightly roosting spot. But the good news is they’re doing a public service for Bricksville. Those ol’ scavengers are scooping up roadkill, keeping the environment clean and preventing the spread of disease.

Mayor: Why, I say — that’s a good value for the taxpayer!

If they’re damaging the roof, you can use effigies or loud noises to discourage them, but try contacting your local wildlife agency first.

Mayor: Thanks for the tip, Michael.

Just goes to show that even when birds seem like unsavory characters, they might be here to help. I’m Private Eye Michael Stein.

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Senior Producer: Mark Bramhill
Producer: Sam Johnson
Managing Editor: Jazzi Johnson
Content Director: Jonese Franklin

Bird sounds provided by The Macaulay Library of Natural Sounds at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, Ithaca, New York. Black Vulture ML 229153 recorded by B. McGuire.
BirdNote’s theme was composed and played by Nancy Rumbel and John Kessler.
© 2021 BirdNote March 2021 / January 2025 Narrators: Michael Stein and Ariana Remmel

References: https://forestry.ca.uky.edu/vulture_deter
https://www.aphis.usda.gov/publications/wildlife_damage/content/printab…

ID# noir-03-2022-03-14 noir-03